Bootleg Pirates’ Cache Eludes Authorities, Washington D.C., 1923

Washington D.C. is awash in a sea of bootlegged liquor, and the authorities are struggling to keep up. In a shocking report, Major Daniel J. Donovan, District Auditor, revealed that the city’s financial year has been its most successful in history – but at what cost? The Auditor’s annual financial report, presented to Commissioner James F. Oyster today, paints a picture of a city in chaos.

The report highlights a staggering surplus of revenue, amounting to $1,505,447, dwarfing the previous year’s surplus of $169,000. But the true extent of the problem lies in the fact that all estimates of tax collections were woefully off the mark, with actual receipts showing collections hundreds of thousands of dollars in excess of the expected amount. It’s a clear indication that the bootleggers are raking it in, and the authorities are powerless to stop them.

Major Donovan’s report also sheds light on the city’s dealings with the federal government. He assails the law that requires the District government to pay a 3% ground rent on all federal property it uses, pointing out that the revenue derived from this rent is barely enough to cover the cost. It’s a vicious cycle, with the city’s finances hemorrhaging cash to the bootleggers while the federal government reaps the benefits.

The stakes are high, and the consequences are dire. As the city teeters on the brink of chaos, it’s clear that the authorities need to take drastic action to stem the tide of bootlegged liquor. But for now, the pirates remain at large, laughing all the way to the bank.

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