Tree-mendous Betrayal in Thomas Circle

In a shocking twist, District highways director Captain H.C. Whitehurst has emerged as the unlikely hero of a heated dispute over the fate of beloved trees in Thomas Circle, Washington D.C. The controversy was sparked by plans to build an underpass on Massachusetts Avenue, which would necessitate the removal of several trees. But Captain Whitehurst was having none of it. ‘Look, we’re going to have trees there,’ he declared, producing a sketch of the proposed underpass, which would retain the trees amidst the widened street. The move was met with relief by residents who feared the underpass would desecrate the area.